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Post by Rygar on Jan 18, 2005 16:03:24 GMT -5
For your reading pleasure, I just uploaded new stories by psykorabbit, Andrew Norris, and HUSH, and an Aldebaran story from new writer Dahaka.
Also, I updated the submission rules just a tad. Here they are, for anyone who wants to submit stories:
"E-mail me, Rygar, with your submissions. Please send stories as plain .txt files (no formatting), and include a summary of the story for this page. Stories will be posted the first weekend of every month. Please e-mail me submissions only during the week before that."
-Rygar
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Post by The psyko ninja rabbit 2000 on Jan 18, 2005 19:59:23 GMT -5
Hey, no prob"!
Read teh new writer Dahaka's script and looking forward to the next one!
Plus if anyone has a gripe, complaint, or an idea they would love to see in my scripts, go ahead and send me a message on this site or email me! All opinions are welcome!
Yes Hush, i red yours too! ANdrew, i will get to yours soon!
Psykorabbit2000
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Post by Pow! on Jan 18, 2005 22:24:44 GMT -5
I suck at critics, so i can;'t say anything but to support all of you. So keep 'em coming people!
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Post by The psyko ninja rabbit 2000 on Jan 19, 2005 2:11:28 GMT -5
I suck at critics, so i can;'t say anything but to support all of you. So keep 'em coming people! COme on Pow'! You ahve to ave some ideas you would like to see. Maybe seeing Kinjite getting the hell blown out of him adn Bucky saving his neck, or maybe a fight between Creelevard and Older Allura with their swords? COme on, you have to have something floating around the little toadie head of yours! Psykorabbit2000
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Post by Norris on Jan 19, 2005 2:34:35 GMT -5
I'm not complaining, as long as FanFics keep pouring in, then I'm happy!
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Post by Razgriz aka Dahaka on Jan 19, 2005 4:28:06 GMT -5
Read teh new writer Dahaka's script and looking forward to the next one! You liked it? (shocked) Thanks
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Post by Hush Mazmanos on Jan 19, 2005 4:28:46 GMT -5
Let's keep those fics coming. The fics help make the web series feel more alive sionce it shows people actually read them! XD Lol
Hush
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Post by Pow! on Jan 19, 2005 4:47:26 GMT -5
COme on Pow'! You ahve to ave some ideas you would like to see. Maybe seeing Kinjite getting the hell blown out of him adn Bucky saving his neck, or maybe a fight between Creelevard and Older Allura with their swords? COme on, you have to have something floating around the little toadie head of yours! Psykorabbit2000 Allura has swords? Hmmmmmmmmm..... XD you know how to make people intrigued... I like surprise plot twists, and since i 'm such a slow reader, i keep getting late with things, Psyko. XD
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Post by Hush Mazmanos on Jan 19, 2005 7:50:05 GMT -5
Creel vs Allura? Sounds like a fight to remember hahaha
Hush
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Post by Claudia Carranza on Jan 19, 2005 14:51:09 GMT -5
You liked it? (shocked) Thanks I, too, must say that I rather enjoyed this script. It was rough, it was short, but over all there's a sense of a much deeper story going on here. Personally, I would have liked more character development, more time and interactions to get to know the main characters and understand them. The set up from the beginning is for the male to die, we see it in the opening scene when the villainous queen allows the male to live as a slave. She seems mean to him regardless of the sweet and gentle, even caring personality he seems to have. As a reader, I would have liked more interplay with him as a slave. I would liked to have explored the life of a palace slave. (Though I must admit, it's from a selfish standpoint, as I'm curious to know how the reader base has made of my hints of Aldebaran culture, and what has been taken from the questions I've been asked.) From a plot standpoint, I would have loved to know how this lowly slave came to be loved and cherished by these little princesses, the sibling kittens. Clearly, there is a deep connection there, as the one refuses to put his present on her wall with the rest, choosing, and in fact stating, that it would be the only one she would wear. Could thiis been due to some other magic of his, an innate hyponotic aura his presence might have, or is it simply because he spent so much time with them? In that case, how is it that he would have come to spend so much time with them to begin with. He is, after all, a magically active male, of sufficient strength that the Aldebaran Government in the form of the Queen herself would opt to have the child killed. Clearly, his magical potential is strong enough to be detected before birth. I'm curious as to what ripples that caused in the nobility of the planet, the various stately rulers the Queen has in place to help her govern the world. What went through the minds of the Head Masters of each magical order? Could one of them have been for keeping the boy alive, thus nudging the Queen toward the decision she made? There's 30 minutes of conversation that could go there, which of course, from a script-writer stand point would have to be done in bits of dialog rather than scripting out 30 full minutes of speech, but still. A few lines, with various people debating with the Queen before she gives her decree could hint and foreshadow the whys and reasons behind the various motives and factionst hat could be moving things behind the scenes here. The story has good bones, and I eagerly await where it might go next. Perhaps some of the skeletal structure found in these stories will show themselves in my current script. Yes, it's STILL in the works. Perhaps I will go home early today and work on it. Food for thought. Keep up the great work. I look forward to the next portion of the story. ~Claudia Carranza.
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Post by The psyko ninja rabbit 2000 on Jan 19, 2005 19:50:11 GMT -5
Well, Dahaka. I see something happening here that hasn't happened before. You actually got Cluadia to respond to a fan fiction and not a web series! I've been writng for a little while adn i haven't even been able to pull that off! Hell, you were able to catch the eye of a senior writer! So stop saying how much you are expecting to get hate mail and bad mail for your script! It is frelling good and was able to keep my interest, which professional writers can't do at times! Hurry up and get part two done! Psykorabbit2000
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Post by Norris on Jan 20, 2005 2:33:04 GMT -5
I enjoyed it too. If anyone complains about this, they've obviously little taste.
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Post by Razgriz aka Dahaka on Jan 20, 2005 3:07:34 GMT -5
I, too, must say that I rather enjoyed this script. It was rough, it was short, but over all there's a sense of a much deeper story going on here. Personally, I would have liked more character development, more time and interactions to get to know the main characters and understand them. The set up from the beginning is for the male to die, we see it in the opening scene when the villainous queen allows the male to live as a slave. She seems mean to him regardless of the sweet and gentle, even caring personality he seems to have. As a reader, I would have liked more interplay with him as a slave. I would liked to have explored the life of a palace slave. (Though I must admit, it's from a selfish standpoint, as I'm curious to know how the reader base has made of my hints of Aldebaran culture, and what has been taken from the questions I've been asked.) From a plot standpoint, I would have loved to know how this lowly slave came to be loved and cherished by these little princesses, the sibling kittens. Clearly, there is a deep connection there, as the one refuses to put his present on her wall with the rest, choosing, and in fact stating, that it would be the only one she would wear. Could thiis been due to some other magic of his, an innate hyponotic aura his presence might have, or is it simply because he spent so much time with them? In that case, how is it that he would have come to spend so much time with them to begin with. He is, after all, a magically active male, of sufficient strength that the Aldebaran Government in the form of the Queen herself would opt to have the child killed. Clearly, his magical potential is strong enough to be detected before birth. I'm curious as to what ripples that caused in the nobility of the planet, the various stately rulers the Queen has in place to help her govern the world. What went through the minds of the Head Masters of each magical order? Could one of them have been for keeping the boy alive, thus nudging the Queen toward the decision she made? There's 30 minutes of conversation that could go there, which of course, from a script-writer stand point would have to be done in bits of dialog rather than scripting out 30 full minutes of speech, but still. A few lines, with various people debating with the Queen before she gives her decree could hint and foreshadow the whys and reasons behind the various motives and factionst hat could be moving things behind the scenes here. The story has good bones, and I eagerly await where it might go next. Perhaps some of the skeletal structure found in these stories will show themselves in my current script. Yes, it's STILL in the works. Perhaps I will go home early today and work on it. Food for thought. Keep up the great work. I look forward to the next portion of the story. ~Claudia Carranza. Phaias is so close with Lin, Ferah and Kila since Shadi is Lin's best friend, I forgot to mention that sorry. Since their so close, the necklace that Phaias gave Kila will be the only one she'll wear because Kila really likes Phaias. Nope, Phaias' powers aren't hypnotizing, in fact, I don't know his powrs since I'm not done deciding yet,. The Queen gave Phaias a reprieve only because it was her daughter's wish. I'm sorry if my story didn't meet some expectations such as the 30 minutes thing, this my first time ever to write a fan fic to any site. I'll try to improve my writing next time. Anyway thanks for the good comments, hope you'll like my future stories ;D Dahaka, the improving writer
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Post by Razgriz aka Dahaka on Jan 20, 2005 3:11:35 GMT -5
Well, Dahaka. I see something happening here that hasn't happened before. You actually got Cluadia to respond to a fan fiction and not a web series! I've been writng for a little while adn i haven't even been able to pull that off! Hell, you were able to catch the eye of a senior writer! So stop saying how much you are expecting to get hate mail and bad mail for your script! It is frelling good and was able to keep my interest, which professional writers can't do at times! Hurry up and get part two done! Psykorabbit2000 Really? I'm the only writer to get Claudia out? Your bluffing!!!!!!! I'm sure at least Hush can get Claudia out. He's written better than I have, that's for sure.
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Post by Razgriz aka Dahaka on Jan 20, 2005 3:15:23 GMT -5
But thanks for the good comment, Psy. I'm really surprised to get a good comment from a senior writer and, in my opinion, probably the best. I'll get to working on part two as soon as I get everything in place.
Dahaka, the guy who got Claudia out for comments
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