Post by Norris on Aug 30, 2008 9:27:11 GMT -5
Remain aloof - you're in for a spoof!
Mooserumps Book 14: The Weirdo of Flipper Swamp
(Parody of: The Werewolf of Fever Swamp)
The backwater town of Flipper Swamp was a quiet little place nestled amidst the marshes and bogs of rural Louisiana. Although it was twinned with a place called Toothmark, Mississippi, none of the alligators who lived in Flipper Swamp had ever been to Mississippi, as none of them could even spell it.
Among the alligators of Flipper Swamp was little Rosie Cheeks, a young girl whose parents ran the 5 cents store on the edge of town. Rosie was a quiet girl whose bark was worse than her bite, as she only had two teeth after she misunderstood the meaning of "rock cake".
But Rosie was also an inquisitive girl, and was always exploring the countryside around Flipper Swamp, but her parents forbade her from ever going to the swamp itself, which was surrounded by a 450,000 volt electrified fence with barbed wire around the top. Warning signs in nearly every language told of danger for any trespassers, and the fact that there was no gate intrigued Rosie all the more, but she respected her parent's wishes, and never went to the swamp.
Until one night, that is, when she was walking home from the ramshackle schoolhouse at the other end of the town. As she walked home in the darkness, she felt as though she were being watched. She looked around, but nobody was there. Running like a 6-year-old alligator with 2 teeth and underwear that was 3 sizes too small, Rosie hid in the woods that surrounded the western side of town.
And then, through the foliage, she saw it. There was a huge gaping hole in the fence. It looked as though something from the swamp had broken out, and was now running around the town. But that didn't come to Rosie just yet, because she now saw her chance to check out the swamp, if only for a minute or two, before she went home. Taking a few steps, she went in...
"Hello?" she squeaked, looking around. There was a thick, steamy mist that seemed to hang in the air above the treetops. The ground was damp and sodden, and the trees were quite obviously 2-dimensional props in the crummy TV version of this series. As Rosie shooed away a stagehand that was hiding amidst the undergrowth, she came to the edge of Flipper Swamp.
The water was eerily still, with not a single ripple or wave across it. In the blue haze of the moonlight, Rosie picked out the shape of a rowing boat nestled on the bank. Approaching it cautiously, scared completely out of her wits, Rosie saw that somebody had hastily abandoned some fishing gear inside.
Rosie's eyes caught a shadow looming over her, and she spun around in time to see a pelican towering over her. His face was flushed and red, with his great, burly wings twisted into fists. His steely eyes nestled on Rosie's, burning with a fire of anger.
"About bloody time!" he snapped. "My boat drifted into this swamp hours ago! Why is it the folk in your town can't be bothered to help a guy, huh?"
The fisherman felt something slide around his waist and pinch him tightly. To Rosie's horror, it was a thick, slimy tentacle! From out of the swamp came a hideous, octopus-like monster that had more than a passing resemblance to Bob Marley, owing to the extra dreadlock-like tentacles on it's head. It's disc-like eyes stared straight at the fisherman with disgust.
"'Ey, mon, can't a guy get some sleep 'round 'ere? Jee-zaz Kraest, mon, ye do go on, don'tcha?" the monster snarled, and dragged the fisherman to the bottom of the lake, leaving Rosie alone with an empty rowing boat, a broken fence, and a lot of questions that would have to be answered when she got back to town.
So she told them that George Bush was trying another stunt.
COMING SOON: Mooserumps Book 15 - You Can't S**g Me!
Mooserumps Book 14: The Weirdo of Flipper Swamp
(Parody of: The Werewolf of Fever Swamp)
The backwater town of Flipper Swamp was a quiet little place nestled amidst the marshes and bogs of rural Louisiana. Although it was twinned with a place called Toothmark, Mississippi, none of the alligators who lived in Flipper Swamp had ever been to Mississippi, as none of them could even spell it.
Among the alligators of Flipper Swamp was little Rosie Cheeks, a young girl whose parents ran the 5 cents store on the edge of town. Rosie was a quiet girl whose bark was worse than her bite, as she only had two teeth after she misunderstood the meaning of "rock cake".
But Rosie was also an inquisitive girl, and was always exploring the countryside around Flipper Swamp, but her parents forbade her from ever going to the swamp itself, which was surrounded by a 450,000 volt electrified fence with barbed wire around the top. Warning signs in nearly every language told of danger for any trespassers, and the fact that there was no gate intrigued Rosie all the more, but she respected her parent's wishes, and never went to the swamp.
Until one night, that is, when she was walking home from the ramshackle schoolhouse at the other end of the town. As she walked home in the darkness, she felt as though she were being watched. She looked around, but nobody was there. Running like a 6-year-old alligator with 2 teeth and underwear that was 3 sizes too small, Rosie hid in the woods that surrounded the western side of town.
And then, through the foliage, she saw it. There was a huge gaping hole in the fence. It looked as though something from the swamp had broken out, and was now running around the town. But that didn't come to Rosie just yet, because she now saw her chance to check out the swamp, if only for a minute or two, before she went home. Taking a few steps, she went in...
"Hello?" she squeaked, looking around. There was a thick, steamy mist that seemed to hang in the air above the treetops. The ground was damp and sodden, and the trees were quite obviously 2-dimensional props in the crummy TV version of this series. As Rosie shooed away a stagehand that was hiding amidst the undergrowth, she came to the edge of Flipper Swamp.
The water was eerily still, with not a single ripple or wave across it. In the blue haze of the moonlight, Rosie picked out the shape of a rowing boat nestled on the bank. Approaching it cautiously, scared completely out of her wits, Rosie saw that somebody had hastily abandoned some fishing gear inside.
Rosie's eyes caught a shadow looming over her, and she spun around in time to see a pelican towering over her. His face was flushed and red, with his great, burly wings twisted into fists. His steely eyes nestled on Rosie's, burning with a fire of anger.
"About bloody time!" he snapped. "My boat drifted into this swamp hours ago! Why is it the folk in your town can't be bothered to help a guy, huh?"
The fisherman felt something slide around his waist and pinch him tightly. To Rosie's horror, it was a thick, slimy tentacle! From out of the swamp came a hideous, octopus-like monster that had more than a passing resemblance to Bob Marley, owing to the extra dreadlock-like tentacles on it's head. It's disc-like eyes stared straight at the fisherman with disgust.
"'Ey, mon, can't a guy get some sleep 'round 'ere? Jee-zaz Kraest, mon, ye do go on, don'tcha?" the monster snarled, and dragged the fisherman to the bottom of the lake, leaving Rosie alone with an empty rowing boat, a broken fence, and a lot of questions that would have to be answered when she got back to town.
So she told them that George Bush was trying another stunt.
COMING SOON: Mooserumps Book 15 - You Can't S**g Me!